Quest for the Sound of Truth


What sets you free…

We learn as we live. And from everything I’ve been going through, I can safely conclude that its true. And, as I quoted earlier, I discover a new me soon as I think I knew me.

What holds back the truth and change shall only cause pain.

Life is a lot more than what can be explained in words. But as I add up my experiences to my scorecard, I now know what it is.

A great part of it involves “…to say what must be said, to do what must be done and to love who must be loved.”

And, the Truth shall, always, set you free.

Live. Love.

~ RokZRooM

Kissing the Death

Though I’ve seen many dear and near ones pass me by in my life, I’ve never written about death before. For, I never knew what it would feel like – until recently.

I feel lucky to have passed through this experience. Its hard to describe it in the generic context of duality of good or bad, because there is no such thing. It just is.

So, it was my friend’s  birthday, and we were hoping to get high. Little did I know what I was going to face then. Though it wasn’t first time, it could have been last time.

I inhaled a few black clouds, enjoying the state of consciousness, puzzled with dizziness. My friend couldn’t take in much, and was constantly telling how badly rolled it was. :p

So I would take in more and more, and explain him how he was doing it wrong.

Then, in an instance, I felt a sudden whip of utter dizziness. Wham! And I said, “I can feel it so strong, why can’t you..” And went in another breathe. Wham!!! I was getting dizzy and high, and I mentioned I can’t take it anymore – I’m as high as heavens.

He gets a call, and goes away for a while.

Wham!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Who.. what.. where.. why… how…

I could sense how my senses were loosing their control. Starting with sight. I could see things, but not really make sense with them. Another few seconds, and it started feeling numb first in my brain, then legs, arms, chest, heart and everything else… and I could sense my whole body vibrating from within – feeling like a thunderbolt of millions of watts is passing through me. It was all numb, yet filled with extreme energy. Pure consciousness. Oneness.

I crossed all my fingers of my hands, and folded and pressed my hands, and noticed myself gripping them so hard I could not separate easily. I felt discomfort in my stomach, lungs and heart. I felt my heartbeats dropping down.

I noticed I was loosing it, and I was sure I won’t make it through. With great difficulty, I shouted  at my friend to bring me some water.. and I didn’t know why I did this. He was gone for almost a few centuries, which he later told me were only a few minutes. I was sweating bullets. I was not breathing unless I made conscious efforts at doing so. Sitting in the front of the car, I took my shirt off.  Still sweating – and probably dehydrating.

I felt these were the last moments. The past memories flew by me. I remembered the ones I love. I uttered their names. I sensed that so many things will go unsaid, undone, untold, unheard, non-existed. A deep sigh, with a glimpse of tears in eyes, with realization that nothing actually matters – its  all momentary. And I was one of those fabrics that created the moments that were.  I sensed I could either end up in a hospital, in a police station, or in a graveyard. Chances were high that it could be the last one.

I am a non-believer. But then, when it was one of those last moments when death could have kissed me, I surprisingly uttered OM / AUM sound.. loudly… several times. I did it like it was the last but only thing I had to do. It felt like I’m bringing in, calling for, triggering some energies – within and beyond – that will spark it all up again. After all, as I’ve learned it later, sound does not exist. It is just an impression in mind created by the energy waves or oscillations.

So there I was.. waiting for the last sip of water to go in – and may be then bid a farewell to this reality and to possibly enter another..!??!?

But then came my friend, bringing in the water bottle, giving it to me unopened while talking on phone!!!!@!!@@$#@

I tried to tell him to open it for me. But I had little control over my voice, and it went a little too loud. He then recognized the situation was probably already out of control, and turned the call off.

He opened the bottle for me. I drank a few sips. A sudden discomfort inside the body… like it was telling itself there is something wrong. Someone isn’t able to take in a fucking breathe!!!!! I continued drinking, a few more sips, and then suddenly… the stomach responded. :))

“PUKE!!!!! Puke the fuck out of this asshole. Anything that is in his belly. Just puke the fuck out, so that his lungs can get some space to take the fucking breathe in!!!!” – screamed the amazing molecular superstructure of my body to all of its microcosms.

“Okay.. a little more.. PUKE. The roads of this city are already in bad condition, nothing can go worse. PUKE.” the microcosm responded. 😀

I slowly recovered back to my senses. And felt the beauty of life again. Calmness. Wisdom. Oneness.

I sworn to myself to respect this fucking life (which I do anyways, but still, reaffirming  😉 ). I sworn to say what must be said, to do what must be done, to love who must be loved. For, I realized that the only thing that could probably hold you back from the ultimate bliss and freedom is the times when you disobeyed the call of your heart.

Love. Live.

~ RokZRooM

Shall pass…

Longing. Discomfort. Pain. Agony. Infidelity. Suffocation.




Like water shaping the rock… slowly but firmly.





Oh, life. You too shall pass…?


Wilderness of Solitude

~ Wilderness of Solitude ~

Its 6 o’clock in the evening of Sunday, 15th of May of 2011, and my mind is already wandering beyond time and across spaces. I feel “I need serenity, in a place where I can hide…”; I need to get the f*** out of here. So in less than an hour I decide to go to Somnath, where I own a small home, in order to finish up some work and to have some change. I took the 8:30 night bus that dropped me at Somnath at 5:30 in the next morning in a comparatively calmer, cooler and more humid atmosphere than back at home.

Here I am, on a desolation row…

Finishing up a part of my work, the next day I went out wandering around the village and the temple area. The stronghold of the temple and the trust would put even some of the richest and most secured venues at shame. Money matters.

Somnath Temple

The Temple and The Sea-shore of Somnath

Somnath, I believe, is not a place just for Preachers… it also welcomes Philosophers, Politicians, Profiteers, Punks and Pricks. Somehow, I too feel welcome! Indeed, religion is the most influential institution for its power and control; never mind the obscuration of the hidden agendas. While these kinds of trusts generally make in millions, one can easily spot the neglect that the village of Somnath has received from the so called growth of the region. Religion is a big business, indeed.

We hear stories of the religious tourism yielding commercial benefits to the localities.

Somnath Trust - Rate Card

big business..

Now, does this really help local businesses? May be it does, by putting the people out of the business. Take a look at the streets of the village to know how much benefit the localities have actually received from their beloved god or religion or the government.

There used to be a nice sea-shore, often considered violent and fatal, right next to temple. The plans of the government, as shown in the pictures below, are to stretch the land artificially by some landfills and create a safe harbor between the two extensions, where people can enjoy the ocean waves.

The Landfill - Extension

Extension to alter the sea-shore..

Cranes @ work...

Somehow construction and demolition are just two sides of the same coin...

Crane at work - 2

Crazy species we are...

Crane at work - 3

Finishing up the day work.. soon to change the shifts..

Sea-shore Harbor at Somnath

Work in progress.. life in progress..

Natural Deconstruction..

Caused by Ocean Waves, Courtesy : Construction endeavor.

Well, play around until the nature takes its turn, and when we pay the toll.

The Check Post

...or a war post?!? May be the infidels are gonna pay.

Next day, in order to finish my initial work for some plans that I have, I roamed around the internal streets, carrying with me my lost faith humanity and its “still alive” naivety…

gathering some fresh and organic mangoes for friends and family…


Mangoes - the Kesar breed .. the ones I like most..

.. and I discovered something really beautiful.  🙂


Humanity is obsolete.. we need a new term..

Life is precious. Love knows no boundaries.

Unfortunately, the fate of this planet lies on the actions of the most irresponsible and selfish species one can ever encounter.

Now that I’m back at home, the deafening screams of wilderness of my solitude ended with an utter sense of beautiful reality, less humanity.

Here are some more pictures of the wilderness I enjoyed, while escaping the solitude wrapped around by this naive society.

Society… crazy indeed. 🙂


“The freedom and simple beauty is too good to pass up…”

Wilderness - Ocean 1

Wilderness and Solitude

Wilderness - Ocean 2

Wilderness and Solitude

Wilderness - Ocean 3

Wilderness and Solitude

Wilderness - Ocean - 4

Wilderness and Solitude

Wilderness - Ocean - 5

Wilderness and Solitude

Wilderness - Ocean - 6

Wilderness and Solitude

Wilderness - Ocean - 7

Wilderness and Solitude

Wilderness - Ocean - 8

Wilderness and Solitude

Wilderness - Ocean - 9

Wilderness and Solitude

“Facing the blind death stone alone, with nothing to help but your own hands and your own head…”

Wilderness - Ocean - 10

Wilderness and Solitude

Wilderness - Ocean - 11

Wilderness and Solitude

Wilderness - Ocean - 12

Wilderness and Solitude

Wilderness - Ocean - 13

Wilderness and Solitude

Wilderness - Ocean - 14

Wilderness and Solitude

Wilderness - Ocean - 15

The Sun and The Wilderness of Solitude

Wilderness - Ocean - 16

The Sun, Wilderness and Solitude...

There is a pleasure in the pathless woods; 

There is a rapture on the lonely shore; 

There is society, where none intrudes, 

By the deep sea, and music in its roar; 

I love not man the less, but Nature more… 

– Lord Byron

Well, anyways, I’ve found a reason for me to change who I used to be… 🙂

Ronak R. / RokZRooM

Living Though Music, ‘Cause Life’s Worth It.

Quotes: From Into the Wild, some music I enjoyed listening during this trip and life’s learnings..

One Step

Long time back I saw a song on VH1, titled “The Importance of Being Idle”. Not that I fell in love with the song, but the message was excellent. When you’ve got nothing to do, whatever your do would most probably be the reflection of your inner desire, or as Steve Jobs had put it, “…somehow your heart already knows what you want!”

Sorry for not being around much, but you may agree how difficult it is in such times… a blank and bleak state of conscience, seeking desparetely for a ray of hope. You may just not know which step it is that can take you to the destination you really desire. You may even be unaware of that desire itself.

What to do?

Well, Enigma has already sang it, in the song Goodbye Milky Way – “Follow your heart, believe in faith..”;  I strongly recommend listening to this song, for a better, bigger vision that it helps listener visualize… dream big…here’s the lyrics:

“Goodbye Milky Way”

Shall I go, shall I stay
107 light years away
many times, so many doubts
But no reason to talk about

Mission is over, mission is done
I will miss you, children of the sun
But it’s time to go away
Goodbye milky way

For a better world without hate
Follow your heart, believe in fate
Only visions and the mind
Will guide you to the light

Mission is over mission is done
I will miss you children of the sun
But it’s time to go away
Goodbye milky way

Mission is over, mission is done
I will miss you children of the sun
I go home until someday
I say goodbye, goodbye milky way

In 5 bilions years the Andromeda galaxy will collide with our milky way
A new gigantic Cosmic world will be born

So, I thought lets not think for a while, and just do… act.  🙂

And I spent some 17000 Rs. to buy a midi controller.. thinking may be its the next step. Got it yesterday! And started believing in my dream again!

Roland Edirol PCR 300

Roland Edirol PCR 300

When you think of what’s to gain, or to loose. When you weigh the bet, its seems its not easy. Its not meant to be. But when you think again, nothing else really matters. Everything else is secondary!

Toughest thing about any change that one desires, is to act upon it. But all it takes is a little courage, and the first few steps – One step at a time. And, to learn THIS, you got to be sitting idle for more than a while. 😉

Let’s see where does it take me.


And that’s how I live through Music!

Ronak R. / RokZRooM / MOTA-Blogs

Life is…?

While surfing around, a new discovery for me while stumbling upon, and listening to some enigmatic Enigma music in a lazy weekend; the most sought after question which I often enjoy playing around with appeared once again in front of me when a friend put up a status “tryin to figure out d purpose of life..” on her facebook.

And I muttered, “heh, does it really matter?” =)

Guess not. The only thing I truly believe as something important is having a dream, having a purpose; and no matter what it is, it should, at the end of the day, give you satisfaction.

A feeling of accomplishment, a little moment of pleasure, a flow of passion for what you do. A little change for the better. And in the end, all little things will sum up. The life so lived in the chase of dreams will help you rest in peace.

i.Quote: Not a day in my life passes undreamed! Not a moment in my life seems wasted!

Take all the risks you’re always afraid to. Make all the bets you’re afraid to lose against.

I would like to share with you this interesting image I found while stumbling upon the net.

The Journey of Life

The Journey of Life

Think over it. And try to implement. Indeed, the journey is more important than the start or the end! Make sure to make it hell of a ride. 😉

How about listening to “It’s My Life” and singing along!!?

~ Ronak R. / RokZRooM

What’s It All About?

In life, you chase. You run. You insanely desire. But, you need to stop for a while, take a break, and have a close look at what you’re running after. What you’re running for.

Is this what you really desire from life? Is it something that can help you achieve the ultimate goal?

Before answering it, ask this to yourself. Does it really matter? Does it really make a difference? Is it something you “want”, or something you’ll ultimately be “giving” to the world.

Linkin Park put it right in their remix, Enth E ND, “Journey is more important than the end or the start”.

I’d like to say one quote by Jacques Deval here.

God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages.

Seems much concealed, right? But not to me. And that’s what matters.

If you love, love. Don’t want.

Its so selfish, humane. And, mind you, not all that is humane is good.

~ Ronak R.

Edited Copy. Original version on Ronak R. – WordPress.